Tolerance & Grace

For some time now, I have been thinking a lot about what grace means, and especially in light of tolerance. It’s a difficult subject, and one where people can become very opinionated, and then start judging without really understanding or seeing the whole picture. So today, with the use of appropriate Scripture, I’d like to explore this idea further.

Many people misunderstand grace, and think it is just something you immediately hand out to anyone and everyone who are opposing God’s Word, know they are, but yet, they are continuing to live a sinful lifestyle. The key word is “continuing.” Do you continue to show grace to someone living a sinful lifestyle, even after they’ve been shown it is wrong? What about the stubborn and unrepentant? Do you continue to show grace to them, and then they just think that their lifestyle or their continual sinful habit must be okay, because you continue to tolerate it without saying anything? Grace is unmerited favor. Do you give grace to someone who doesn’t even see their need for grace?  There are no easy answers for these questions.

How should we respond, when it comes to grace? The Apostle Paul tells us in Romans:

Rom 5:19  For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous.

Rom 5:20  Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:

Rom 5:21  That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.

Rom 6:1  What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

Rom 6:2  God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

So, once we are free from our sinful lifestyle because we have received lavish and extravagant grace from God, we should definitely not continue to live in sin and take full advantage of such grace! That much we know.  And yet, this is what I believe I’ve seen some Christians actually believe!  That because we are under the grace of God, and we won’t be punished for our sins, we can pretty much live however we want!  That my friends, is a shameful abuse of grace.

Grace only works, and is appreciated, when you give it to people who recognize their need of it. Those are the ones who will benefit from it. And once grace is extended, like it was, for example, to the woman caught in adultery, it doesn't end there.  There is more to it than that. Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn thee,” and here’s an important second part, “go and sin no more” (see John 8:11).

So why would you extend grace to someone who doesn’t even recognize their need of it? i.e. they think they are fine the way they are, and refuse to repent and change.  Isn’t that sort of like throwing pearls before swine?

Tolerance isn’t the same as extending grace. To me, tolerance is coming into agreement with sin, or a known evil, and giving assent to it by saying nothing. Did Jesus tolerate the sin of adultery because he didn’t condemn the guilty woman according to the law? Absolutely not. He told the woman, “go and sin no more.” And it is this part of that verse that seems to be sadly neglected whenever this account is shared.  It sort of trails off into oblivion because we all want to be exonerated like this woman was.  And we are!  But we, like her, are to abandon the sins for which we have been forgiven, and no longer continue in them!  To do otherwise would be to take this grace of God for granted!

Let’s go a little further on this topic, and search out how we should be conducting ourselves to the unsaved world in which we live. 

Walk in Love

Eph 5:1  Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;

Eph 5:2  And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

Eph 5:3  But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints;

Eph 5:4  Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

Eph 5:5  For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Eph 5:6  Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.

Eph 5:7  Be not ye therefore partakers with them.

Eph 5:8  For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:

Eph 5:9  (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)

Eph 5:10  Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.

Eph 5:11  And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.

Eph 5:12  For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.

Now, take notice that we are to walk in love. But as we keep reading, we are given stern admonitions and warnings in verses 3-11. I want to pay particular attention to verse 6. To me, this verse is an example of when someone who is steeped in sin, whether it be idolatry, sexual sin, or any other kind of sin as mentioned especially in verse 5, talks you into accepting, and possibly participating in their sin so they don’t have to repent of it.

Verse 7 is the warning to do just the opposite - DO NOT partake with them. I must admit, that as a teen, I didn’t follow that Scripture, and DID partake of things like drinking alcohol and taking drugs. I regretted this many times over later on. Look at verse 11 also. Clearly, we are not to make friends with those that will try to persuade us and influence us to follow their sinful ways. Now, something that I know I find very hard to do is the last part of verse 11, “reprove them.” Have you ever reproved someone for their sinful lifestyle in which they are trying to persuade you to join, or do you say nothing at all? This is a very thorny situation to find yourself in. 

In my own case, I did admonish a very good friend of mine who attended the same church as I did. He had met a woman, and they were living together. I told him that it wasn’t a good idea, but he should consider getting married to her. The woman heard, and she told me off in so many words that I wasn’t perfect either. I agreed with her, but stood my ground. However, my friend thanked me. He later broke up with this woman, and he did marry another. This isn’t something I’ve made a habit out of, but in this case, I felt it was the right thing to do. 

Too many times if I’ve mentioned something to do with the New Age or the gay lifestyle, and we need to pray for them, and also take a stand to stop this ungodly influence (especially where our vulnerable youth are concerned), some believers have jumped all over it, and emphatically said, “You gotta’ love them.” I had never once hinted that you shouldn’t love them. In fact, isn't telling them the truth part of loving them, as well as doing good works on their behalf?  Some of the people in these above-mentioned groups are very good friends of mine, and my truly heart aches for them.  I know they are trapped and I so much want to help them get out.  But unfortunately, many of us don’t say anything because we don’t want people to get upset with us, so we remain silent.  So, these groups of people who are in deep bondage to their sin, and also are hopeless and eternally lost without God unless they repent, often remain so. Who is reaching out to them with the truth that will set them free?

Is it fair for us to be so comfortable with our faith, that we neglect people who may be hard to reach, but still, Jesus died for them and loves them, and wants them to come to Him and get set free, and know true agape love? 

If we go back up to Ephesians, 5:11-12, we can see what we must do. We must prayerfully, lovingly, and boldly reprove them when the situation calls for it. Difficult yes, but it is what our Lord expects of us.

Remember:

2Co 4:3  But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

2Co 4:4  In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

2Co 4:5  For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

This is very important, as it says in verse 5 — it is NOT ABOUT US! We are simply delivering the truth as obedient messengers of this glorious Gospel, meant to set the prisoner free!

Someone may wonder, well how can you reprove people, and yet extend grace? None of us are perfect, like the woman living with my friend had said to me. Well, it’s not about being perfect, it is about sharing the saving truth of the Gospel. Again, look at verse 5 above, “we preach not ourselves.” It is like pulling someone out of a burning building. You are doing so in love. They may go out kicking and screaming, but when they see what you’ve done, and realize they are still breathing and alive, then they will see the grace that you’ve extended. You could have left them in the burning building, and by neglect, showed that you don’t really care what happens to them. Did they deserve to be pulled from the fire? No. But you did it anyway because it was the right thing to do. You cared about them. Well, how is lovingly reproving someone lost in their sin any different?

I am with you if you feel uncomfortable with this. But it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prayerfully consider speaking up when clearly it is in the best interests of someone (and others in their sphere) we care for, if we feel this is what the Lord would have us do.  Consider this: We have nothing to lose by speaking up. They have EVERYTHING to lose if we don’t.