The Problem with Self

Recently I listened to a talk by a woman who has an impressive educational background in social work.  She researches different aspects of the human psyche and behavioural patterns we sometimes experience.  She talked about shame and vulnerability.  She had some good points in her talk, for example, that the more we expect perfection from ourselves, the less happy we will be.  The happiest people are the ones that expect life to be tough, and not that life should turn out perfect, or according to our own wishes and desires.  I liked and agreed with that part.  But then she veered off into an area that I struggled with, and I have to say I disagree with, and that is that we should like ourselves in order to like others.  How many times have I heard this humanistic type of thinking?  It's not that we should "dislike" ourselves either, but there should never be one extreme or the other.  Frankly, we can become far too wrapped up in ourselves for our own good whether we like ourselves too much or too little.  And this is what I want to talk about.     

I'd like to explain my view of "self" from a Biblical perspective.  When I was still a teenager, initially I had no idea what I was doing when I chose to live the party life.  I just wanted to fit in and do what the others were doing.  I thought I was invincible and I could quit drinking, smoking and doing drugs on my own, without any help.  I was young, fearless, daring, and looking for adventure.  But many things went very wrong, and I found myself in great need of help, so much so, that I cried out to God.  It's not so much that I was a Christian doing these things, but that I had become trapped by what I later discovered from the Bible what is known as the flesh, the body of sin, the old man, and the natural man.  All of these references refer to what we are before we are redeemed.  God made this promise of redemption to Adam and Eve way back in the beginning of man's creation after he ate of the forbidden tree of the knowledge of good and evil. When he disobeyed God, he didn't realize that this defiant act of unbelief in God would now forever brand all of mankind from then on as born in sin.  Sin means to "miss the mark."  The mark is the high standard that God sets for all of us whom He created.  Adam missed the mark, so God put into place a plan of redemption to give mankind a second and final chance.  If we miss the second and only chance (hence the term "born again" of the spirit), then we are forever separated from God, lost and without hope.   

Joh 3:16 📝 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Joh 3:17    For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

Joh 3:18    He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Joh 3:19    And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 

But what else happened to self on that fateful day when Adam and Eve disobeyed God is that we then became slaves to self and all of its many demands.  The Apostle Paul explains all of this in the book of Romans in the Bible.  When Jesus died on the cross one of the major and most miraculous things He did was remove the power of sin in us and over us that had the sentence of death upon it. 

Rom 6:6    Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. 

This is tremendously freeing when we realize what this truly means!!  For me, it meant the end of doing the things that could never satisfy, or add to my life in any meaningful way.  I no longer had the compulsion to do things that were destructive and contrary to God's Word.  I was at peace in my heart and flooded with a sense of freedom and joy.  God had taken away the body of sin that had weighed me down for all those years!  When our heart is made right with God, everything else falls into place.  Because my heart was changed, I was no longer so focussed on myself and my own pain.  I now cared about others and the weight of the pain they were carrying.  I wanted to spread the good news to everyone that Jesus came to set us free, He does this today, and He will to all who believe in Him. 

For people who do not know God, they can never know the peace of God or the freedom from the power of sin that can only come from Jesus.  Perhaps we don't fully realize what the word "salvation" really entails.  When Jesus died on the cross for us He not only took our deserved punishment for the sins we committed against Him, He took away our selfish sinful nature and is willing to replace it with a brand new nature, a nature that is fuelled by the power of His Holy Spirit.  As born-again, Bible-believing Christians, we have the ability and power to live life free from the power and compulsion to sin and no longer be focussed on self.  May we take every opportunity to continue to live this new life of freedom in Christ, for here is where we find all that we need to live a rich, full and completely meaningful life, driven by the deeper purposes of God that most often involve reaching out for the betterment of those around us.  We discover a life that is enriched with joy and peace as He leads us day by day, through trial and triumph, and from victory to victory.  Our elusive search for happiness and pleasing self is over, for we have found our forever Friend and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Live for God

When my mother recently went home to be with Jesus, I wanted her treasured Bible.  So every morning when I have my devotions, I read her Bible.  It is weathered and well used and many verses are underlined throughout, verses that meant something significant to her.  One morning I was looking something up, and I found the following underlined verse: 

Php 3:13    Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 

Underneath this verse, my mother had written, "Live for God."  This meant a great deal to me because after she died, I felt as if my world had caved in, and I had lost my most treasured friend and dearest mother in the world.  I wondered how I was going to get through life without her, and bear the pain of losing her.  Since she was so uplifting and so encouraging throughout my life, many times in those first few weeks, in my mind I could still hear her encouraging me, and this is one of the strongest impressions I had right after she died. I was impressed to go on and live for Jesus, to not spend more time in sorrow than I would spend living for Him; the time is short before Jesus returns, and there is much work to be done.    

While this may sound cut and dried, and many will say that when you lose a dear loved one, that you have to take the time to grieve, we need to also shift our focus to what lies ahead.  I realized how crucial it is to fulfil the calling God has placed on my life, and to continue to do so without delay.  None of us knows the day or the hour of His soon return, and we do not know how much time we have.  It also helped me a great deal to know that my mother is now with Jesus, and that she is well taken care of, and she is with my dad and her family who also love Jesus.  She has finished her course, but mine is still to be completed. 

While I was thinking about the importance of moving on, and leaving behind what is past, I also thought about the cost of following Jesus. 

Luk 9:23    And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.

Luk 9:24    For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 

My pilgrimage must go on, and this does not change.  Opportunities to share our faith, and present the only way to freedom from sin through the cross of Christ, are all around us every day.  I can truly say that in the days following my mother's passing, the opportunities to witness to others seemed to abound.  As I shared about my mother's passing, and I continue to, many others shared their stories of grief with me. I was able to give them hope and comfort by listening, sharing and then praying for them.  It has brought me great comfort to know that my mother's Godly life continues to bear fruit for Jesus through me and the rest of her children, and no doubt through many others who knew her.  I know that her many years of faithful prayers for me and the rest of her family are following her. 

So today, for all who are reading, if you are suffering a great loss as I have, or suffering in any other way, do not stay in the past and dwell there, move forward, and in every way possible, live for Jesus.  For this is what will count throughout eternity.

A Special Kind of Legacy - PART 2

I shared in the first blog that I felt it very important to share the Godly legacy my mother left behind with her recent passing.  In this second blog, I would like to continue to write about more of the Godly qualities that my mother had, in the hopes that it will stir us on to exemplify a similar life lived to the praise and glory of God.

 

 

Positive Attitude

Psa 100:1    A Psalm of praise. Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.

Psa 100:2    Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

Life wasn't always easy for my mom, and yet, she is one of the few people I know who kept an upbeat and positive attitude regardless of her sometimes difficult circumstances.  Overall, her positive attitude, I believe, kept her strong and healthy almost right up until her passing. I believe that she lived a full life, and a long life upon the earth because of it. Her mind stayed sharp, and even when she was in pain at the end, she still maintained a sense of humor, and was considerate of everyone around her.  Rather than complain, she wanted to know we were all well taken care of and happy.

Pauline came from a large family of 21, and 15 of them grew to old age and she deeply loved them. Nine of them died during her lifetime, and some nieces and nephews, and in-laws as well. One year she lost about three family members in succession that she was close to, and this hit her hard.  She lost a score of close friends.  She lost her husband, my dad, and this hit her the hardest.  She had a lot of painful losses, and I never saw her bitter or angry or stay depressed.  She was grateful for every day the Lord gave her.  She put her trust in the Lord.  Every birthday as the numbers got bigger, she'd remark how thankful she was that the Lord had given her another year.  I can't remember ever seeing her in a fluster.  She bided her time and she prayed a lot and she trusted the Lord.  She was not an anxious person, but paced herself and went with the tide instead of ruffling any feathers and going against it.  She was a woman of wisdom, and she faithfully read her Bible every morning and read a devotional every night.  This will account for her ability to stay calm where most people would have fallen apart.  When I was a rebellious teen, I never once heard her say anything to me that was hurtful or spiteful.  She never got after me where I likely deserved it.  She never stayed up all night when I didn't come home until the wee hours of the night or not at all.  Instead she would be praying on her knees for me, and that's what got me through those difficult years.  She was always there for me, cheering me on.

I shared in my tribute to her that she was a bright and cheerful morning person.  I marvelled how she could wake up cheerful even if she had hardly slept a wink all night.  She was a joy to be around, and she made even the most mundane tasks seem like a joy.  I never heard her complain.  I have seen her lift people's spirits who were feeling down, and pretty soon she had cheered them up with a good word, or some flowers and a card, or a special gift.  When we went through her things, we ended up with a big box full of greeting cards and many pads of paper that she would use to write a note of encouragement to someone to brighten their day.  I learned from my mom firsthand that God is a God of joy, and when we least feel like being joyful, this is when we need to be joyful the most. A cheerful attitude is a gift we give back to God, and it shows that we trust Him and care about the people He puts in our path.  Like my mother, may we learn to have a positive attitude no matter how difficult our own circumstances may be.

Generous

2Co 9:7    Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

God loves a cheerful giver.  Although wealth or fame were never part of our heritage, and we didn't starve by any means, my mom was gifted in joyfully and generously giving from whatever she had.  In fact, she lived to give.  I mentioned in the first blog that my mom was well known for her gift of hospitality. She was equally known for her generosity.  When I was just a kid, my mom, my Great Uncle Alf, and us kids would go uptown to the cafe and order a pop and something to eat.  When the bill came, my uncle, who was also generous, would grab the bill so he could pay.  Then my mom would grab it from him so she could pay.  They went back and forth like this until the bill would rip in half and everyone would be shocked and laugh.  This is something I never ever forgot, that a person would be so anxious to pay a bill that they would have a friendly little squirmish over the bill and rip it in half!  I wonder if even the Lord had a chuckle over that.

I don't remember her owing anybody anything, but if she did, she paid it all back, and usually added a little interest to it.  She did lend, and she always put something in the offering plate whatever church she attended.  She had a heart for people in ministries, and she supported them with financial gifts, sometimes on a regular basis.  If special speakers came to a banquet or were invited to a special service and they were selling a musical recording, she made sure that she bought a CD to encourage them and help them out financially.  She left a wonderful example of giving with joy, and not just doing it begrudgingly, or because she felt she had to out of obligation. 

Peace Maker

Rom 12:10    Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

My mom instilled in me the importance of living life right and doing the right thing even when you didn't feel like it.  This was especially true when it came to relationships with others.  She insisted that when there was a disagreement, that you had to make it right with that person.  She'd say, and sometimes with tears, "I just want to see everybody get along."  Peace and harmony in relationships were extremely important to her, and I never saw her bitter towards anyone.  She was someone who took to heart the plight of others, and she'd say to me, that you "weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice."  And this is what she did.

My mom literally hated it when there were discord and disagreements between people, whether it was family members, friends or even acquaintances she knew of.  She so much wanted to see everyone happy and get along together, that I have seen her weep when people weren't getting along.  If my siblings and I had a disagreement, she insisted that we make it right with each other.  She would carry the burden of the discord and disharmony in a way that I have never seen anyone do before.  Then when things were made right, I have seen her cry tears of joy.  Maybe this is an area that we sometimes overlook, and we do not take Scripture literally as my mom did.  We think it's okay to be at odds with someone, and yet, if we really have a heart of love for the Lord and others, we will not be hardened, judgemental, and feel justified in our anger or bitterness towards them.  We will feel for the other person, and we will quickly make things right. 

To sum it up, these are the six most outstanding Godly qualities of my mom among many others I could write about, and may add more in the time to come.  I will always have her example set before me, and given a choice, I pray I will choose to take the high road throughout my life, and keep my mom's legacy alive and prospering, and bearing fruit to the glory of God. 

A Special Kind of Legacy - PART 1

In this blog, I would like to share part of a legacy that has been passed on to me from my mom, Pauline, who recently went home to be with Jesus.  She was a remarkable woman who is and will be remembered for her Godly life.  In thinking about the many virtuous qualities she had, I knew that it would be important to share them because they have had such a lasting effect on me, my family and so many others.  Since her passing, we discovered that her life had a tremendously positive impact on everyone who ever met her or knew her, but this is not surprising, since we had seen it consistently exemplified throughout her lifetime of 86 years.  I came to realize how important it is what we do and say each day to live out the many truths in the Bible that we believe, and not just pay lip service to it.  I couldn't fit all the qualities into one blog, so there will be another to follow. 

Encourager 

Heb 3:13a    But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; 

At the memorial service, we each took our part in honoring her with our memories.  It was the second memorial celebration we had for her, and I marvelled how each person who took part, all said pretty much the same things about my mom, and it was echoed again and again in every sympathy card we each received, and any tributes to her that people had written online.  She was known for her acts of kindness and as someone who knew how to make you feel special.  If you had a talent, like singing, as my cousin shared, and she heard you sing, she would say, "You are the best singer I have ever heard!”  She had a gift of encouragement that kept us all going through the many days and trials of our attempted successes.  When I started sewing, and she would see a skirt I was making, or had made, she'd say, "You have a natural talent.  It's right in you to sew."  So I would keep sewing more and more challenging projects, and work through confusing and difficult patterns to make suit jackets, winter jackets, pants with pockets, and also dresses; you name it, I likely made it!  Anything that I wrote, she read, and affirmed to me over and over again how good a writer I was.  Thanks in a large part to her huge support, I have now written and published 32 books with two more on the way, and I have other books I've written that are not yet published.  She would extol all the many things I did almost to the point I wanted to run and hide, because I felt that it was sometimes too much, and others might feel bad.  My siblings felt the same, since she also clearly let everyone know how smart, or skilled, or talented we each were, and yet we loved that about her, the way she built us up.  When it became clear that my mom wasn't going to get better, my niece said, "She'll likely be encouraging Jesus in heaven, telling him what a great job He is doing."  Do we encourage one another?  We need to encourage others at every opportunity, since who knows how far this can take someone?  Perhaps there is someone today who is struggling to succeed, or is feeling discouraged by setbacks, or is hampered by a lack of confidence.  Let's not hesitate to lift someone’s spirits, as this is what the Lord would have us do. 

Evangelist 

2Ti 4:5    But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry. 

My mom was never afraid to speak up and share her love for and faith in Jesus.  She did it lovingly and respectfully, and with the same kind heart she had when she used her gift of encouragement.  She wasn't verbally preaching a sermon either, she was living it out with every kindness she bestowed.  Sometimes I was with her when she'd say a word or two to someone she wouldn't know who had shared some difficulty they were having.  She'd tell them she would pray for them, or she'd say "Let Jesus help you. He cares about our every need."  I wrote some tracts, and my mom would make sure she had a stack of them to leave places, and give them away.  She'd tuck them into letters, or just hand them out.  She was not afraid to spread the Gospel in any way she could.  She faithfully attended church all the years I was growing up, and well beyond.  As her former pastor said in his tribute about my parents to the effect that we were always in church "every Sunday."  Many times she would have invited someone or a family to come and she'd encourage them to keep coming so they could continue to grow in their faith.  She was a great publicist when it came to inviting people to church and the many church functions.  I know that because of what I learned and have seen from my mom, that I too have taken evangelism seriously, and it is something that weighs heavy on my heart as something very important to continue to do all the days of my life.  And according to Scripture, this is a requirement and a calling for every believer to do, to reach the lost for whom Christ loved, suffered and died for. 

Hospitality 

1Pe 4:9    Use hospitality one to another without grudging. 

Hospitality is when we open up our home in a warm and welcoming way, and make our guests feel like they are very important to us.  We might serve them tea or coffee, and always offer some kind of snack or meal.  Hospitality seems to be almost a lost art today as we have all become so busy with our lives.  Not so with my mom.  She served in the capacity of hostess to the absolute full, setting a beautiful table with her fine china, lacy tablecloths, napkins and holders, and beautiful table centrepieces.  The house would be spic and span clean, and when you walked in the door, you could smell the turkey roasting in the oven, or the tender  roast beef cooked to just the right temperature.  I never tasted gravy as good as when my mom made it.  Her home-made apple pies would melt in your mouth, and always complete with ice cream.  We'd sit around the table and our home would be filled with love and laughter.  That was the way our home was all the years I can remember growing up and beyond.  My parents would invite friends, neighbours, visiting missionaries, relatives who popped in unexpectedly, and so on.  There was always ample food, and all home-made by my mom.  Many people commented how they remember the big spread my mom would lay out for family and guests alike. No one left our home feeling hungry, but were more than likely stuffed, and usually there was a special care package that went home with each guest.  Those are my most pleasant and treasured memories.  What a tremendous gift to give others, the gift of hospitality.  No wonder it is mentioned a few times in the Bible to give others an opportunity to be blessed by our willingness to open up our home and share of our bounty, however large or humble it may be. I learned from my mom that it is truly a great way to fellowship and show the love of God in practical ways. 

Please watch for my next blog, as there are some equally important qualities to be learned from my mom, and ones that are and can be life-changing.

 

 

A GOOD WORK OR GOOD WORKS?

Jas 1:22    But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

Jas 1:23    For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:

Jas 1:24    For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.

Jas 1:25    But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. 

Recently, I was reading my Daily Bread devotional, and the above verses that went with it.  The phrase But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, literally jumped out at me.  I hadn't realized that when Jesus sets you free from your old life where you are a slave to self and you try to be good with good works, that this is what the perfect law of liberty is referring to.  James makes a clear distinction that once we are saved, if we just simply read the Word and do not act on it, we will fall back into our old ways, and we will not be free.  I read the Matthew Henry commentary, and he said that the papists tried to generalize the phrase to doing "good deeds," but the Scripture actually means the good work that God has specifically given us to do, so it says, "the good work." It doesn't say, "the good works," in the plural.  In other words, it is a very individual thing.  Whatever God has told us to do we are to do "the good work," and we will be blessed in our deed. How do we know what He has asked us to do?  We take it from His Word, and then He confirms it to us.  Many times the thought or the idea, which will line up with His Word as righteous and true, will dominate our thoughts and will persist until we obey, and do it.    

I thought about the idea of works and how some churches become so formal and so organized that they speak more of good works and less about a personal relationship with Jesus, and specific works we do out of love and obedience to the Lord.  I wondered why they do this, and then Galatians 6:12 came to mind: 

As many as desire to make a fair shew in the flesh, they constrain you to be circumcised; only lest they should suffer persecution for the cross of Christ. 

It is much easier to do good works, then it is to pray about what the Lord wants us specifically to do.  That way, we can please ourselves and feel good, or perhaps feel we fit in more with what others expect of us to do, and not take any flack for not doing it their way. 

Christians who know the truth can even persuade you to do good works that you have not been specifically directed to do by the Holy Spirit.  They may not have prayed about it themselves, and so they assume that what they are asking you to do in the name of "good works" is for everyone to do, including you.  They may use guilt if you do not do or cannot do what they have asked, but guilt is not of God, even though it may "feel" like you should do what they have asked.  We are never to put our trust in another person, but to put our trust in God, and do what pleases Him first and foremost.  He fulfills all in all, and meets our needs, however He chooses to do so.

SEEKING A PLACE OR A PERSON?

Recently I talked to a woman who believes that you have to work hard at your faith and you have to work hard to attain eternal heaven.  She was very confused about who Jesus is, and believes that "Jehovah" is the only true God, although that is only one of His many names.  I told her that there is no other way to heaven other than through Jesus Christ.  She couldn't seem to grasp that fact, but I kept giving her verses to assure her that the only assurance of salvation and the way to heaven comes through Jesus Christ alone, and not our own works.

 As I drove away, praying for her, I thought about what she was really saying.  She is looking for an eternal home outside of looking for the only Person who paid the price for our sins, who loves us so much He laid His life down for us, and He is the only Person who can get us into His eternal heaven.  Heaven is the reward and the result of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  So in her situation, she is trying her hardest to get to heaven by as many good works as she can do, and then she hopes that Jehovah will accept her into His heaven, even though she has never known Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior. 

 The Bible is crystal clear on the only way to get to heaven.  Here are some verses to verify this:

JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO HEAVEN:

 Joh 14:6  Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

 Joh 8:21    Then said Jesus again unto them, I go my way, and ye shall seek me, and shall die in your sins: whither I go, ye cannot come.

Joh 8:22    Then said the Jews, Will he kill himself? because he saith, Whither I go, ye cannot come.

Joh 8:23    And he said unto them, Ye are from beneath; I am from above: ye are of this world; I am not of this world.

Joh 8:24    I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.

 THERE IS NO SALVATION APART FROM JESUS CHRIST:

 1Jn 2:22    Who is a liar but he that denieth that Jesus is the Christ? He is antichrist, that denieth the Father and the Son.

1Jn 2:23    Whosoever denieth the Son, the same hath not the Father: (but) he that acknowledgeth the Son hath the Father also.

 2Jn 1:9  Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.

 WE ARE NOT SAVED BY OUR OWN WORKS:

Gal 2:16    Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.

Tit 3:5    Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Tit 3:6    Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; Tit 3:7    That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Read over verse 7 again.  We are justified by "grace," not our own works.  We are "made heirs," and this is something we ourselves do not and cannot do.  You are either an heir or you are not, you cannot suddenly make yourself an heir.  As a blood-bought believer, God has made you an heir! He HAS OPENED WIDE THE DOORS OF HEAVEN FOR YOU!  What an incredible gift! 

THE WORK OF GOD IS ALWAYS PERFECT, THERE ARE NO IMPERFECTIONS:

Jas 1:17    Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

Jas 1:18    Of his own will begat he us with the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.

 In verse 18, it says we are "begotten of God!"  We did nothing to join His family, and it certainly had nothing to do with our own good works, which are imperfect and could never reach His perfect standards.  The word "begot" and begotten means "procreated, generated."  Only God can create a new creature, and that's what He did when we became born again:

2Co 5:17  Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

And again, in the following verse, our salvation and our inheritance has nothing to do with our own good works or religious acts:

Gal 6:15  For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision, but a new creature.

There are other religions that use good works as a guarantee that if followers would just do such and such, they will reach a type of paradise after they die.   But of course this is not the Biblical heaven, nor is this the God of the Bible that condone any other way to heaven except through the cross of Jesus Christ, and a personal relationship with Him by faith.

 

 

Should we Pray According to God's Will or According to His Word?

Many years ago, I believed that when you pray, you should always pray according to God's will, and this sometimes amounted to very general, and not always heartfelt prayers of faith.  I didn’t really know of any other way, or additional way to pray.  For me, I thought it meant a passive resignation to let things be, and that there would be nothing more for me to do. Whatever happened, happened.  The problem with praying this way, however, is that it in no way grew my faith, and it did not always yield the results that I was hoping for. It also did little to nothing to increase the faith of the people I was praying for. Also, I was not drawn closer in relationship to God. 

When you think of it, can you really pray effectively if you don't know God's will?  Scripture is abundantly clear that God wants us to know His will.  For one thing, Jesus said that we are His friends, not His servants, and He has made ALL THINGS known unto us!! 

Joh 15:15  Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. 

God has always revealed His will to those who are close to Him.  Scripture records it over and over again.  There is absolutely no doubt that He wants to be in close relationship with us, and this includes our prayer life especially, the times when we stop what we're doing and talk to Him. 

If we pray "only" according to His general will, this can become a religious, fearful, unbelieving ritual.  We take our hands off completely, and we let God take control.  Now we can relax and not involve our faith at all.  We can start to become lazy, but "Faith without works is dead" (see James 2:17-26).  Without faith we cannot please Him (see Hebrews 11:6).  If we don't take Him at His Word, how can we say that we really believe in Him? 

Here is a question:  Do our prayers fill us with peace? Joy? More love for the Lord? Adoration? Worship?  Or is it just a passive resignation that we hope He hears and answers, and now we're done with it, but we have little assurance that He will answer? 

Php 4:6    Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

Php 4:7    And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

The disciples didn't know how to pray, and so they asked The Lord.  An important part of the Lord's Prayer mentions God's will being done. 

Mat 6:10    Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. 

Wow! That is a powerful prayer!  But there's more.  In the following verse, it is also something we participate in: 

Mat 16:19    And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 

When we bind and loose, things happen in the supernatural.  This works when we need healing, finances, and any other number of things.  It is very powerful.  If Jesus gave us these keys, then He did for a very good reason, and we must make use of them. 

God wants us to know His specific will. We do this by renewing our mind: 

Rom 12:2    And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. 

Without getting into the Word, we will not transform our minds, nor will we know the will of God.  We will be so filled and focused with the thoughts of the world around us, and the many messages they send, that we will not be in tune with the Word of God, much less begin to understand His will.  The more we get into the Word, the more we understand what His specific will is. 

A way to ensure that we are praying according to God's will is to realize that the Holy Spirit is already making intercession for us.  We need to wait on Him, and also ask Him what specific prayer is needed, since He already knows anyway.  When we pray, we need to ask for His leading, for He is there to help us, and He wants to participate with us in the prayer: 

Rom 8:26    Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 

Not until recently did I discover another way to pray, and that is to pray according to God's Word, and there's a big difference. When we literally speak God's Word, things happen.  His Word goes forth because it is living and active.  The angels respond and start to carry it out.  God responds to His Word.  When He hears it, He honors it.  But this is where we must understand what His will is, and ensure that it is not our own will.  This is where we can start to get confused, and start praying according to our will and not His will.  Regardless of the outcome, God desires that we pray IN FAITH BELIEVING, and even the faith we have is what He has already given us (see Hebrews 12:2a).   

And after we pray, we must continue to believe, and this is extremely important, because the devil will come around, and try and do his dirty work – he will try to steal, kill, and destroy (see Matthew 10:10).  He will try to destroy our faith with thoughts of doubt, fear and unbelief.  We must not give him a chance to do this.  We need to stand firm believing in God's Word instead, no matter how bleak things may look.   

Heb 10:23    Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) 

The purpose of speaking God's Word, also increases our faith and the faith of those whom we are praying for.  

Rom 10:8    But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach;

Rom 10:9    That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Rom 10:10    For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 

Notice in verse 9 in the following, it says, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth."  Notice again in verse 10, "with the mouth confession is made." 

Clearly, we need to pray both according to God's will, and according to His Word.  How do we do this?  First, we need to be in the Spirit, and not rely on our own understanding, or the flesh, to try and figure things out.  It is simply by doing what is suggested above in Romans 8:26 – we ask for the Holy Spirit's help and guidance, then we pray according to His leading.  After we pray, we need to stand firm in our faith that the Lord has heard and He is already answering.  A wonderful response is to also begin to thank Him.  By this time, we should be experiencing His peace and an assurance that He has both heard and He is also honoring our heartfelt prayer that has been uttered according to His will, and is in line with His Word.

Is Our Suffering of the Flesh or of the Spirit?

One of the most difficult things we can go through in life is when we or a loved one are ill in some way, and suffering.  This has recently been my experience, and I did not handle it well at all.  When illness suddenly hits a loved one, your whole world can feel like it is falling apart.  You can also go on a very disturbing and turbulent roller coaster ride with your emotions, as you see your loved one maybe show some improvement, and then the next day, no improvement.  In my own situation, I cried out to God and I prayed hard.  In fact, I prayed until I had a personal breakthrough to get some peace about it.  So I'd like to share what the Lord showed me about suffering.  He directed me to the following verses:

 2Ti 1:7    For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2Ti 1:8    Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;

2Ti 1:9    Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,

2Ti 1:10    But is now made manifest by the appearing of our Saviour Jesus Christ, who hath abolished death, and hath brought life and immortality to light through the gospel:

 The Lord gave me these Scriptures to show me that there are two kinds of suffering; one is to suffer in the flesh, and the other is to suffer in the spirit.  The second one has a purpose and it has power with it to overcome the suffering.  As Christians, we will suffer, but we are to only suffer for the furtherance of the Gospel.  Any other type of suffering is of the flesh, and manifests out of a heart of unbelief.  Unbelief is most pronounced when we are under severe trial.  When unbelief is present, fear comes in.  That's when we start to fall apart because we are not putting our trust in God.  When we put our trust in God, He gives us a peace that passes all human understanding.

 Suffering must be in accordance with His purpose and grace.  He gives grace where needed.  In other words, He gives us a buffer to deaden the pain as if it never existed.  While I was thinking about the two kinds of suffering, I realized that I had been suffering in the flesh because I was afraid.  I wasn't putting my trust in God for myself or my loved one.  The following verse also kept coming to mind:

 Psa 112:7    He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.

Every time I had a fearful thought, the Lord said that I was stepping into a land mine of fear, and I should get out quick.  When we are abiding in the Lord, our heart is stable, not fearful. There will be no rapid heartbeats or heart pounding because we will be filled with peace instead.

Fear blocks peace and blocks us from receiving the many Promises in God's Word that are ALREADY ours to take.  We are not given a spirit of fear, but love (without this we have insecurity), power (without this we are weak), a sound mind (without this we are confused and unable to make sound decisions).  All of these things, insecurity, weakness, and confusion are things of the flesh.  When we despair, we are not trusting in the Lord that He knows what He is doing.  The Lord wants to comfort us, but we must let go the fear, and take His Hand instead of clinging to the fear.

Have you ever wondered how the men in the Bible were able to withstand suffering and persecution?  They were in the spirit, not the flesh.  In other words, you can still have pain, grief, and so on, but no fear.  God gives you power, love and wisdom to overcome it and see you through.

Just remember that fear brings torment, and this is not of God.  Sometimes you have to deliberately fight hard against the fear.  You have to fight it until it leaves by using Scripture, and declaring the Word of God which always SUPERSEDES the fear.  When others pray and the prayers aren't getting through, it is likely fear that is blocking them.  The person you are praying for has to also let go of their own fear, command it to go until it is gone, then receive Jesus peace, their healing, and all the promises.  Fear will impede healing, faith will bring it to pass.

We also need to RECEIVE the promises just like when we get saved, we have to receive Jesus into our heart.  So we and those we pray for have to receive the healing, and let the fear go.

Every fearful thought is not of God, but we must be vigilant to not allow fear to overrule, and then fall victim to needlessly suffering in the flesh.  God has given us equipment to go through the suffering -- love, power and a sound mind.  When we dare to trust regardless of what we see in the physical, peace will be ours, and hope will fill our hearts.