Grief and Gifts from God

Jas 1:17  Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. NIV

Rom 11:29  for God's gifts and his call are irrevocable (unalterable). NIV

Its Christmas time and this is the time of year when our emotions can run high.  We fluctuate between the joy of the celebration, and the sadness of remembering those we love that are no longer with us.  Financial pressures mount as we want to take in as many festivities as we can, and we want to buy appropriate gifts for our loved ones and friends.  Some of us want to remember to help the needy as well.  Today I want to talk about grief and some insights the Lord has opened up to me.  Above all, I think it’s appropriate for this time of year.

This past year has been difficult for me in terms of grief.  In the late winter, almost a year ago, we discovered that one of our beloved cats had an inoperable internal problem, and he was suffering, so we had to make the difficult decision to put him down.  We still have his brother with us.  At first when we got these two cats, I was really hesitant because I had just lost my orange tabby of 15 years, days before and the pain was so great I wondered how I could go on. But the Lord had gently assured me that these two black cats would be no problem.  He didn’t tell me I’d only have one of them for five years, and then I would lose him.  He didn’t tell me that I would grieve so much for so long and wonder if I’d ever stop feeling so much pain.  After my cat died, the Lord kept saying, “Your joy will be full,” and I keep waiting for that to happen.  But today I realized that there is a purpose in all this pain and suffering.  Each person in our life, whether it’s a child, a friend, a spouse, or even a pet, is a gift from God.  But in our busy day-to-day lives, we often take for granted the great gifts God has given us, even to the point of taking God for granted.

Some thoughts went through my mind about God’s gifts being irrevocable.  If my cat was a gift from Him, then why was he allowed to be taken from me when he was only five years old?  Other people who have suffered great loss came to mind, friends that lost babies and children, and some have lost both parents and siblings as well.  We hear of huge losses, and many this year in our own city, where many young people senselessly died in freak car accidents, some leaving behind small children, others just beginning their your adult lives.  Two young girls in their 20s both died in a house fire, one leaving behind a small boy.  For families and loved ones left behind, it is and can be so devastating and painful as they go through the grieving process.  Today, I wondered, why do some grieve and grieve and never seem to heal from the pain of these great losses?  What would God have us learn from all this pain and suffering?

I had to ask myself what I have learned from this on-going grief from losing my cat.   One thing was a surprise to me, and that is that I made him an idol, because so much of my time and energies went to thinking about how much I missed my cat.  Gifts are just that – gifts.  They are not and should not be our whole life.  Only the Lord can be our whole life because we are commanded to love Him with ALL our heart, soul and mind.  So I have had to repent of making my cat into an idol, whereas my love and energies should have been focussed on the Lord.  I also learned that when it comes to grief, Jesus took all our pain and suffering on the cross when He died for us.  We don’t have to bear it.  He already bore it for us:

Isa 53:3  He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isa 53:4  Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

Isa 53:5  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Everyone grieves a little differently.  Some make a point of remembering their loved ones on their death anniversary, and they write memorials.  They never want to forget the people who meant so much to them.  For me, I try to reach out to those who are alive and in need in some way right now.  This gives me the most peace and provides a healing balm for my sometimes troubled and sad soul.  Those who are gone have lived their life in the time they were allotted.  Now life still remains for me and many others who are reading this right now.  So we must carry on and help each other through life.

Yes, pain and suffering have a definite purpose and a place in our lives, but I believe that it is only for a time, and then we must seek to move on, and live fully, richly and with great purpose.  Suffering can most definitely make us better, but too much suffering and for the wrong reason can make us bitter and serve no useful purpose, especially when it comes to the things of God.  We are never to become immobilized by our grief and suffering. We are to continue to live a life that is praiseworthy to God and be thankful in all things. There is a time we must let go of our grieving and trust God fully with our lives.  Perhaps today it is your time.

May we, like Job, be able to say:

Job 23:10  But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

This Christmas season, there will be many people who are grieving and will need a friend and some Christmas cheer.  This is an opportunity to bear one another’s burdens, and offer friendship and encouragement.  After all, isn’t this all a big part of what Christmas is all about?