As we
continue our discussion in overcoming self, we have come to the second last
part of our discussion. It is something
we all struggle with, and that is loneliness.
This is taken from my book, Victory
Over Backsliding.
Note: I have included a couple of Scriptures that
are in the endnotes rather than having to look them up.
Loneliness & The Lack of Fellowship
Another important area where we can slip into a
backslidden life is loneliness. When we
are lonely we tend to turn to other people and the world instead of God.
Loneliness can be a potentially weak area for single Christians who want to
marry but have not yet found their mate.
It could equally apply to separated, divorced and widowed people who
want and need someone to fill the loneliness.
Loneliness is a very real and painful situation for scores of people in
our world today. It is a malady that is
often overlooked in the church, yet in my own experience and in others I have
met and befriended, it has been the downfall of many well-meaning and sincere
Christians. If we are struggling with
loneliness and are considering friendships and fellowship outside of the
church, it is necessary to look at other problems this will create.
Compromising Relationships
Teenagers have the greatest difficulty with this one. They want to please their peers and not
appear as an outsider, so they do what everyone else is doing. But for all of us at any time in our lives,
loneliness and the need for companionship can lead us into compromising
relationships. So great can be the pain
of it that a person is preoccupied with nothing else than finding a way out of
it. When a Christian fails to find
meaningful relationships with other Christians they often end up in the wrong
kind of relationships. We know we have
compromised when we have gone beyond a caring friendship with unbelievers and
now partake in their world of sin. This
could mean platonic friends that we choose to spend time with who have no
conscience regarding sin and may encourage us to drink, party and engage in
sexual sins. Or it could mean that a
single Christian is dating a non- Christian.
Why is
it wrong to have intimate relationships with non-Christians? The danger of is that we begin to become like
them and our Christian values and morals become so obscured that they nearly
cease to exist. We may fool ourselves
into thinking initially that we can "win" them over to the Lord, but
unless we are very strong and solid in our walk, chances are we will begin to
partake of their lifestyle and our witness will become completely
ineffective. Scripture is clear:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with
unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And
what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
Many backslidden (and not backslidden) Christians have
married an unbeliever and experience tremendous conflict over spiritual
issues. This escalates if children are
involved. These are relationships that
simply cannot prosper.
God's Answer to Loneliness
Many single people think
that if they just found the right one, then they will no longer feel
lonely. But, they would soon find out
that another person is not intended to fill the loneliness. Only God can ultimately alleviate the pain of
loneliness.[1] Everyone else may forsake us, but God never
will. Even if we have lost our spouse,
parents, family or friends, God is able to comfort and befriend us and meet our
every need accordingly (see Phil. 4:19).
Php 4:19 But my
God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ
Jesus.
Loneliness can drive us away from God and
into the wrong kind of fellowship with the world, or it can drive us right into
the arms of a loving God who understands. He will always provide a way of escape and
give us grace to help in time of need (see Hebrews 4:16).
Heb 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may
obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
That way of escape may be His call for us to serve
others and/or His provision of friendship through our extended family in the
church (see Hebrews 10:25).
Heb 10:25
Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of
some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as
ye see the day approaching.
Taken from Victory
Over Backsliding,
by Linda McBurney-Gunhouse, Creative Focus Publishing, p. 75-77, 2007.
In the
final blog, we’ll discover the way to ultimate victory that God has provided
for us to overcome self.
[1] A couple of wonderful assurances regarding
God’s relationship to us is found in Prov. 18:24b and Heb. 13:5b.
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