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Tuesday 26 November 2013

How to Handle Change


I am writing this, not as someone who likes change when it is thrust upon me, but as someone who is searching for the best ways to handle it when it does occur.  This past year, me and my family saw many changes.  Some of those changes involved losing a few loved ones, and also, several friends.  It seemed that there was nearly one person a month that passed away, and in some cases, one a week.  It was very traumatic to have to deal with so many losses.  Every time we lose someone close to us, it changes our life in some way, and leaves an emptiness that just can't be filled.  And we must learn to deal with it and move on in our lives. 

There have been other major changes as well.   My husband and I have been in a state of moving for nearly two years now, and there are no simple solutions.  Our one place has not sold yet (in the city), so we've been packing and unpacking going back and forth to the other place (in a rural town where we used to live), unsure of where we are to settle.  Trying to find things is nearly impossible.  We are looking for direction career-wise as well, wondering how we will continue with two lifestyles with the cost of living rising while wages remain the same.  As I've thought about these frequent changes and also living in an almost constant state of uncertainty, I've had to examine my own heart to see what God is wanting to teach me through all of these changes, and to see if I am handling change in a way that is both Biblical and beneficial to the things of God and adding or subtracting from my spiritual walk.   

Too much change can be exhausting and stressful, especially when you have to deal with the grief of losing a loved one.  Second highest in the stress level is moving.  Thirdly is financial.  We have had many unexpected repairs in both places that needed immediate attention.  Our vehicles have needed fixing.  We've had major dental and various medical bills not covered by insurance or Medicare.  Suitable employment for me (other than all the things I already do) has been difficult if not impossible to come by.  Extra work for my husband has fallen through.  So we have to deal with all three of these highly stressful situations this year and in the past few years.  We have seen our hopes and dreams fade, and our future plans put on hold.  We have prayed and prayed and are still waiting. 

One thing I have learned through it all, is the importance of daily praying and asking God for very specific direction in my day.  I have written other blogs about this and mention it frequently because I believe it is the right thing to do in obedience to Scripture and also because my own life seems to be in such a flux.  I couldn't get through a day without consulting God about it.   I can't imagine that there is anyone alive out there who cannot relate to this because change happens to us all whether we like it or not or are prepared for it or not. 

Another thing I've learned is that you can't necessarily live according to your own dreams and plans, for if you do, you will surely be disappointed.  Have you found this true in your own life?  We may plan things, but something always seems to come along to throw a ripple or a tidal wave into it. We get too comfortable, and BAM, our plan is upset.  How do we handle things when this happens?  I think that this is something God uses to test our attitudes and faithfulness to Him. 

Dreams are another thing.  Are our dreams ordained of God, or are they whimsical self-made dreams that God never intended for us to pursue?  These are not easy questions to answer, but when faced with one change after another, and we see our plans and dreams not materialize, we must seek God and find out what HIS dreams and plans are for us instead.  Don't get me wrong – I don't believe it is wrong to plan and dream.  Like most people, this is something I do frequently, but when dreams and plans fail to happen or doors seem to remain shut, I have to ask God if they are of Him or if I simply have to continue to wait for the doors to open in His timing instead of my own. 

Another huge lesson I have learned, and probably the greatest life lesson there can ever be is: 

WILL I STILL LOVE GOD AND TRUST HIM WITH MY LIFE IF I LOSE EVERYTHING?   

The "everything" includes people that I love.  This has been the hardest - the thought of losing people that I treasure and who add so much meaning and purpose to my life.  I think of Jesus question to Peter: 

Joh 21:15    So when they had broken their fast, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.Joh 21:16    He saith to him again a second time, Simon, son of John, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Tend my sheep.Joh 21:17    He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of John, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.Joh 21:18    Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdedst thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.Joh 21:19    Now this he spake, signifying by what manner of death he should glorify God. And when he had spoken this, he saith unto him, Follow me.

The passage is simple to understand, but profound if we apply it to our own heart:  Do we love Jesus? If yes, then we will feed His sheep, and we will follow Him. 

We will FOLLOW HIM.  His ways and His plans are far above our own.  He may lead us where we don't want to go.  Our path may be narrow, difficult, and filled with adversity, marked with change, but He will be leading us.  What is more important, that we get our own needs met and live in a comfortable bubble, or is it more important that we follow Jesus in spite of the difficult path we are called to walk? 

I have been reminded many times that I need to change my thinking: 

Isa 55:8    For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith Jehovah.Isa 55:9    For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. 

Sometimes our thoughts need to be brought to light, and sometimes God uses adverse change and adversity to discipline us: 

Psa 94:11    The LORD knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity.Psa 94:12    Blessed is the man whom thou chastenest, O LORD, and teachest him out of thy law; 

I think of Job.  Who in the Bible has suffered more than Job?  What was the purpose of Job's suffering?  To see if he would pass the acid test of handling insurmountable trials and adversity and still love and serve God: 

Job 1:6    Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them.Job 1:7    And the LORD said unto Satan, Whence comest thou? Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, From going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.Job 1:8    And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?Job 1:9    Then Satan answered the LORD, and said, Doth Job fear God for nought?Job 1:10    Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side? thou hast blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land.Job 1:11    But put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to thy face.Job 1:12    And the LORD said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only upon himself put not forth thine hand. So Satan went forth from the presence of the LORD. 

So Job lost everything.  Talk about changes in his life!  His whole life as he knew it was taken from him, except he was allowed to keep breathing!  He was not a picture of health either because his body was covered in festering boils.  How does Job's story end?  Let's look at Scripture: 

Job 42:1    Then Job answered the LORD, and said,Job 42:2    I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.Job 42:3    Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not.Job 42:4    Hear, I beseech thee, and I will speak: I will demand of thee, and declare thou unto me.Job 42:5    I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. 

Are we so caught up with our troubles and that our lives have changed so much we hardly know where to turn?  Perhaps we have become blinded by the hurricanes of dust on the road and we no longer see the Lord going before us.  Job finally saw the Lord in it all, and the Lord became even more important than all that the Lord then restored in his life.  Hmmm, is there a lesson here for me and you? 

In this life, change is inevitable, but there are many constants too.  If you are a child of God, God will lead you and go before you, He will guide you into all truth, He will love you forever, He will never leave you or forsake you.  To me, these, and all of the many more promises in the Bible are the constants that keep us on a solid rock through all the changes of life, which will be many.  Are you standing on the solid rock with Jesus today?  If not, and you are looking to the things of the world for your answer, it is a guarantee that you won't find lasting stability there.  Only with Jesus can we find the peace, safety and certainty that everything is and will be okay. 

Psa 61:1  To the chief Musician upon Neginah, A Psalm of David. Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.

Psa 61:2  From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Psa 61:3  For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.

Psa 61:4  I will abide in thy tabernacle for ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.

Psa 61:5  For thou, O God, hast heard my vows: thou hast given me the heritage of those that fear thy name.

Psa 61:6  Thou wilt prolong the king's life: and his years as many generations.

Psa 61:7  He shall abide before God for ever: O prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him.

Psa 61:8  So will I sing praise unto thy name for ever, that I may daily perform my vows.

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